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Dear past two months,

Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Gar and I on a fun snow day :)-- Gar attempted to teach me to drive "better" in the snow (er...ice)

Christmas Day 2007-- Gar insisted that my mom get us matching Boston Red Sox hats :)

These past two months have been extremely difficult. At times I sat in disbelief wondering if he was really gone, wondering if I would really not be able to talk to him again. But reality has its harsh bite and I remember, it's true. Two months ago today my best friend went to a better place. The time since he past hasn't been easy. Sure, I take comfort in the small feelings of his presence. I have had dreams with him in them, I have visited my Mimi and felt him there. But it does not take away the broken heart I am learning to mend. This was the first time in my life I have had a legitimate "broken heart." My mom says she felt the same way when Mimi passed. There is no other way to explain it other than you feel like your heart has been shattered. This world isn't fair, there are rough spots, and the world is far from perfect. Beyond that God does send comforting feelings. I know Gar is in a better place. But that will never take away how much I miss the guy. That will never take away my yearning for one more conversation, one more "i love you," one more hug, or one more laugh. If there is one way I could sum up these past two months it would be that "time does heal even the deepest wounds." I know I will get through this, sure there were times when I wonder why I was given this trial and I wish I didn't have to go through these deep, painful feelings. I do know, though, that this will only make me a stronger person. Eventually I will be able to let go of these intense emotions that come with loosing someone so close to me and be able to live in the comfort of his spirit until I can see him and be with him again.

I love you Gar and you will forever live on in my heart.

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