Well, it happened.

I had been going back and forth about how much I should work so that I could balance studying for my boards and so on...R and I had talked on multiple occasions and had come to the decision that he'd support me while I was between jobs and to not really worry about continuing to work per diem as an Aide. But, I still wanted to pick up a shift or two a week so that I could keep my "foot in the door" so to speak, keep some money flowing into my account and finally just to have something to do! Unfortunately, the decision was made for me.

I walked into work today. My nurse manager and two clinical coordinators were sitting in the back room, assumably having a meeting of some sort. I apologized for interrupting and told them I was just putting my bag down. They started with some small talk. But, I could feel there was something more. Something they just didn't want to tell me. That's when my nurse manager said, "I'm sorry but I am not allowed to have you work here per diem anymore." They all told me they thought I was an awesome employee, they'd all be happy to write me recommendations, etc.

But it still stung.

A call would have been nice. That way I didn't have to get myself ready and head in there for nothing. But, it is what it is. I honestly think they had no clue of the enforcement of the "no working past RN school graduation" but it's clear they are now enforcing it.

They told me how my name was floating around and they was sure I would be hired there. I told them that I had accepted a job elsewhere. They were all very happy for me. It's just unfortunate that that job does not begin until July 25th. That's a little less than two months away. Two months without making any money.

This is a first in the history of my life. I have been working since I was 15 years old. Always bringing in some sort of income to support myself. Surely, my mom (and at the time, Dad) had supported me as well. But, there's just something different about making and brining in your own money.

Sure enough, Mom and R both told me that it would be fine and they'd help me however I may need help. I am eternally grateful for that, I couldn't imagine what would happen without that support! Yet, I still feel this deep sting.

A chapter in my life is now closed. I learned so much in both Critical Care units. I met some truly wonderful nurses, doctors and others. I will miss them all and I wish there was some way to say good-bye to them all. I have seen some really interesting cases and procedures alike. I am completely and totally grateful for the (almost) year of experience I had. I learned and I grew so much. I know another door is opening soon, and for that I am thankful.

mind dump

• I thought I'd be completely stress-free once I found out I had a job. But, nope. Can't seem to get a handle on this transition period. I don't begin until July 25th. Hours at my old job (because I was told there was a loophole and that I am allowed to) are virtually non-existent, we've actually shut ICU down twice because lack of patients! 
• My prayers and heart go out to the people of Joplin, MO. My great-aunt and great-uncle live, literally, 5 minutes from where the tornado touched down. Such devastation; I couldn't begin to imagine!
• R is seeming to really like his new job. I'm so happy for him! He is still working as a pharmacy tech, at his old job, to get the new people trained. Then he'll cut back to per diem and work here and there. 
• Mom and I weeded and mulched about 3/4 of the flower beds at her house. I so don't have a green thumb, nor do I ever really want one. The bugs, the heat, the sweat...ya not my thing!
• R and I have begun house hunting again. The first time we really prayed and did not feel it was the right time. I was still only working per diem and it would have been very tight. So we decided to wait until I got an RN position. Once I get my first few checks as an RN we will go get pre-qualified. Then we can begin the serious hunting. To say I am excited is a complete understatement!

Okay, not as much on my mind as I thought. 

Until next time :)