beauty.

Meet C. She is my first niece and she will always hold a special place in my heart. She is so caring, thoughtful and intelligent. She has always blown me away with her wonderful disposition. She is a ball full of fun, loving energy and she has a adorable smile that truly captivates any audience. I love that she is much like I was as a child. I love when we are out in public I constantly hear "You have such a beautiful daughter!" (even though that would mean I would have been 15 years old when I had her, although its possible, it's totally NOT TRUE!) I love that she loves to do the things I do and most of all I love that I am her one and only "Auntie."


C.G you have captured my heart, you are a true beauty. 

Tantrum.

I uploaded all of my pictures off of my Nikon today and as I was going through them I found these gems that I snapped when we were visiting in January...

1. perfectly content.
2. frustration sets in.
3. full blown tantrum.

Poor little, adorable H. They were just too cute not to post, someday she'll thank me for reminding her of her, ahem, dramatic childhood.

Wordless Wednesday.

Love.Love.Love

"What the world needs now is love, sweet love.

It's the only thing that there's just too little of.."

Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours!

PS. don't forget to...

spread the L.O.V.E  

Sunshine.

February 8^th 2009.

That day was the end of life as I knew it. For 19 tender years I always had a mom and a dad to fall back on. They truly were there for me no matter what. Supported me and all my crazy ideas. They held me when I cried and celebrated every accomplishment, big and small.  My parents truly built me a wonderful foundation to grow on, it is something I will always cherish. They gave me every opportunity a child could ever dream of.

On February 8^th 2009,  my foundation was really shaken. down. to. the. core.

I had to say good-bye to part of that wonderful foundation, my Dad. I can honestly say that watching my Dad take his final breath of life was the hardest thing that I have ever had to endure, thus far.  But, far harder yet is moving on without him.

Sure, I am thankful he is pain-free. Basking in the glory of heaven. Up there chattin’ it up with Mimi, Wowo and Gar and all those that have gone before. No matter the comfort that brings, my heart still aches.

I still miss him.

One profound thing that I remember from an otherwise blurry day was when my grandpa “Poppy” gave me a hug right as he saw me standing in the hallway crying. It was a strong, manly hug. The type my Dad was famous for and the ones I truly long for. He told me something that sounds so simple, but yet is so deep, “The sun will still shine tomorrow, don’t ever forget that.”

And you know what? It’s so, so, so true.

Just as the sun sets every night it will always raise the next.

Just because my dad is gone, life still goes on. At first, that was a difficult idea to swallow. As the days turned into weeks, months and now a year the grief has reduced in intensity. The sadness ebbs and flows and as it does I always remember that. No matter what, the sun will shine tomorrow. It doesn’t matter how sad I am, no matter how angry I may be that he was taken before “my time”…

The sun will always shine…

My dad was a constant in my life. Just as the sun is. I could always count on his presence. He was always there. Always cheering me on and cheering me up. I couldn’t  have imagined my life without him. But now that I have been forced to move on without him I am ever more thankful for the memories we had made.

Memories that will always be here, just like the sun; no matter what, they’ll still shine tomorrow. 

I am still here.

No, I did not fall off the face of the Earth. I have just been consumed by my med-surg, materinty, med math and pharmacology books and lectures. And soon to be, clinicals. 

This semester has just been kicking my butt! It is 10X or maybe 20X more intense than the last semester, I can’t say I wasn’t warned though. Everyone I had talked to (upper classmen) had said, be prepared…the second and third semesters are the hardest. First semester was a cake walk, really, compared to this semester. This past Friday we had not only our validations- foleys, NGs, IV piggybacks (which I passed! thank goodness!) but we also had our med math test! (mind you if you don't pass the med-math test with a 90 or better you are given the boot out of the program!) In the same day.

Pure craziness.

I know the professors aren’t trying to weed us out, they just have SO much to get in before we get thrown back into clinical. Which leads me to my next update.

I start clinicals again tomorrow! I am so excited. I am so ready for some new challenges. I will be at the same (local!) hospital as last semester. That is awesome because the 6am start time would be a killer if I had a long commute! We are going to be on floor 6.2 which is the oncology unit. This will personally challenging for me. I spent many of days/weeks/months with my dad on this floor. But I know my dad would be proud that I am helping out people that are as sick as he was. I know the nurses were always the ones that made such a difference for my dad.

Mom is visiting our newest little family member right now! My Uncle Sean and his wife Aunt Kerrie welcomed a new little baby boy: Sloan Michael Glynn Patrick. He is adorable and my mom is having a blast, I hear!

Well that’s it for now. I must march on with my studying, we have our first lecture exam on Wednesday and because Monday and Tuesday I will be all tied up at clinical orientation I must get a lot of my studying accomplished today. I will leave you with an adorable picture to enjoy and honestly I hope to update my blog soon. I have lots of pictures to share and can’t wait to have the time to do so!

Beginnings.

This post has been a long time coming. 

Quite honestly, I would have loved to post this earlier but given the circumstances regarding my friends mom (who is doing better, by the way! Thanks for those who lifted her up in prayer!) and the wonderful trip I just got home from I just simply have not had time.

So here goes nothing. Last year, around this exact time, my family and I were dealing with some pretty tough things. Dad was in the hospital and he was down right sick. I was Sad. Confused. Hopeful. Worried. Scared and Blessed all at the same time. But, at that point in my life I was unable to sit down and determine what I goals I wanted to pursue in 2009. Don’t get me wrong, no one ever really sticks with their “new years resolutions” but I hadn’t even put thought into them. My mind was swirling with creatine levels, WBC counts and the like all while still attending school full-time.

It wasn’t as though I didn’t accomplish anything. I grew immensely in this past year, I was forced to. This year I want to make goals and try my hardest to stick to them. And, this time I want to do it for myself.

There are different aspects of myself that are sub-par in my opinion. I know we are all a “work-in-progress” but there are areas within my life that I really want to focus on. We’ll call them my trouble spots.

Trouble spot #1: Praying. I want to pray more. I always turn to God when the going gets tough but not as much when things are just going at their everyday pace. That is something that I know needs to change. I know that I feel less anxious and more peaceful when I pray, so that is something that I will be doing more of in 2010. That brings me to…

Trouble spot #2: Anxiety. I have made great strides in the past year to grabbing a hold of my anxiety issue. I now have a fantastic counselor and see her weekly (sometimes bi-weekly). She has really helped me grab hold of my anxiety and learn why I worry about what I worry about and how to stop all the unnecessary thoughts. This year, I want to work towards a healthy anxiety level. As I have learned, anxiety is essential to life, but it is all in moderation.

Trouble spot #3: Exercise. This year I am going to exercise consistently. Consistency is key for me. I love working out; I love how I feel when I am working out and I love how I feel after I work out. Its an instant self-confidence booster for me. But, as soon as I get out of my pattern it’s all down hill. I need to get into the groove and stay in that groove. no.matter.what.

Trouble spot # 4. Food. Yes, food is tricky. We need it to live, yet you have too much and you pack on the pounds. Believe me, I know first hand. I don’t want to just diet. I want to change my eating habits. I’m talking an entire overhaul. Less of the refined stuff. The yucky white stuff: white flour and white sugar. Less of the processed foods. Back to the natural stuff. The naturally good stuff. I know how unhealthy fast food and processed food is, so why eat it!? This is something I will strive for throughout the year. I’m going to do it in steps…month by month. I will start by eliminating things just for a month. For instance: the first month I will eliminate all diet soda (I only drink diet anyways) and so on. Then if for that month I really truly, feel better without the said item I’ll include eliminating it with the next thing. I still don’t have my list up but I know a few that will be included: white sugar/flour, fast food, fried food etc. Clear as mud? Well I will be using this trusty little blog to keep me on target so keep posted and maybe, just maybe it will make more sense ;)

That just about wraps up my new year’s goals. I really hope to use my blog to help me stay accountable in attaining these goals. I am looking forward to the challenge but I am also looking forward to the rewards that will be in store once I reach my goals.

I hope you all have fantastic goals in mind too. The New Year brings about new beginnings, and let’s face it…

...those are never a bad thing.

Is it just me?

...or do you want to just sqeeze those cheeks?!

That's what I thought. No worries, I'm doing enough cheek squeezin' for all of us!

the good & the bad.

Well no, I haven’t fallen off the face of the blogging world. Thanks for asking!


As I am sure most of you know...life always comes with good times and bad times.

I’ll start with the good:

The new year came and went. M, J, CB and I all traveled to bean town the new years’ eve eve. We came back home the new years eve. Boston was a blast. We walked around the city, ate dinner at the Hard Rock Café and then spent the evening relaxing at the hotel. We got up early the next day, got breakfast and then hit the road because quite a large snow storm was rolling in. As it was our drive home was  a wee bit dicey. Luckily we all made it home in one piece. We had planned on spending new years eve in the city but you know how the best laid plans go…

So instead we decided to go out for a delicious dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant. It was delicious! Then we spent some time at our friend S's house. And finally ended our night at my house with a sleep over.

us girls on New Years Eve :) 

____________________________________________________________

I’m blogging from the Nashville airport, you got that right…

Mom, P & I are all on our way to see my sister and company. It will be fantastic. Albeit it’s cold here and there is forecasted snow for Thursday, go figure. We head south and the snow follows! That’s alright, we’re used to it. I am beyond excited to see my sister, the girls and my brother-in-law. My niece, CG, is psyched for us to get there! She told my mom the other day on the phone, “Mem, you are going to be here in not one not two but THREE DAYS!” My mom said the excitement in her voice was adorable. I can’t wait. I haven’t seen them since June….its been too long!

____________________________________________________________

And now for the bad:

My best friend,M, whom I’ve mentioned on and off here on my blog has a very sick mom. Her mom suffers from alcoholism and it has been a constant struggle from both ends. Unfortunately, she has ended up in the hospital. Without giving away too many personal details it’ll suffice to say she is very sick.

It is very difficult for me to not only see her mom as sick as she is but to also see M so completely heartbroken. Mostly because I happen to know what she is going through. Having a parent very sick is a very difficult to deal with. It is your duty, as a child,  to care for your parents but being young adults we also have our own lives. It’s difficult to strike a balance. I have been trying to guide her; making sure she eats, sleeps and asks all the necessary questions. One good thing is (if you could say there is even a “good” in this situation) her mom is on the same floor in the hospital where I did my clinicals. All (well, most) nurses and pca’s recognize me and are more than willing to go out of the way for M and her family, not to mention they let me help out a bit with the simple tasks, like helping her to the bathroom. It works out well and I’m thankful she is on that floor.

It was a difficult decision for me to decide to leave M and her family and visit my sister. But, I felt as though this is where I have to be. If things go “south” (so to speak) quickly then I’ll be on the next plane home. But in the meantime, as she is stable, I will try my hardest to go about enjoying this trip. We need this family time.

Please, as you go about your day today, take some time to pray for my friend’s mom. She really needs prayers.

So as 2010 sets in there is both good and bad, but such is life.

By the way... No worries here, I have some new year’s posts in the works chocked full of new years goals and aspirations! Plus some great posts with absolutely adorable pictures of my two (favorite!) girls! Just hang in there and bear with me!