Home | Posts RSS | Comments RSS | Login


Monday, February 8, 2010

February 8th 2009.

That day was the end of life as I knew it. For 19 tender years I always had a mom and a dad to fall back on. They truly were there for me no matter what. Supported me and all my crazy ideas. They held me when I cried and celebrated every accomplishment, big and small.  My parents truly built me a wonderful foundation to grow on, it is something I will always cherish. They gave me every opportunity a child could ever dream of.

On February 8th 2009,  my foundation was really shaken. down. to. the. core.

I had to say good-bye to part of that wonderful foundation, my Dad. I can honestly say that watching my Dad take his final breath of life was the hardest thing that I have ever had to endure, thus far.  But, far harder yet is moving on without him.

Sure, I am thankful he is pain-free. Basking in the glory of heaven. Up there chattin’ it up with Mimi, Wowo and Gar and all those that have gone before. No matter the comfort that brings, my heart still aches.

I still miss him.

One profound thing that I remember from an otherwise blurry day was when my grandpa “Poppy” gave me a hug right as he saw me standing in the hallway crying. It was a strong, manly hug. The type my Dad was famous for and the ones I truly long for. He told me something that sounds so simple, but yet is so deep, “The sun will still shine tomorrow, don’t ever forget that.”

And you know what? It’s so, so, so true.

Just as the sun sets every night it will always raise the next.

Just because my dad is gone, life still goes on. At first, that was a difficult idea to swallow. As the days turned into weeks, months and now a year the grief has reduced in intensity. The sadness ebbs and flows and as it does I always remember that. No matter what, the sun will shine tomorrow. It doesn’t matter how sad I am, no matter how angry I may be that he was taken before “my time”…

The sun will always shine…

My dad was a constant in my life. Just as the sun is. I could always count on his presence. He was always there. Always cheering me on and cheering me up. I couldn’t  have imagined my life without him. But now that I have been forced to move on without him I am ever more thankful for the memories we had made.

Memories that will always be here, just like the sun; no matter what, they’ll still shine tomorrow. 

2 comments to Sunshine.:

thechattymommy said...

I am so sorry about the passing of your father. I will pray for your family.

j said...

sorry about the loss of your dad, i know the pain of that last moment but struggling to build a life with our loved one's as our guardian angels is so painful as well. i wish you peace and comfort.