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Memories...

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Six months ago I lost my best friend. I still struggle with accepting this daily. I miss him more and more as the days go on. The holidays have been especially difficult, luckily they are almost over. I still wish I could have one last gar bear hug, one last talk, one last kiss. But since that is impossible I have all of our amazing memories to hang on to. So, for the six month anniversary (Jan. 2nd) I decided to share sixty of my favorite memories of Gar and of Us (in no particular order):

1) Our first date on the Niantic boardwalk.
2) Our trip to Boston with my mom, Cathy, and Kayt. And how he even went to body worlds with me.
3) Our first kiss at Pleasure beach on the second part of our first date... :)
4) How he loveeeeed the mango ice cream bomb I made.
5) He loved the color red (i think it had something to do with his hair)
6) The time we made homemade french fries because he wanted to make them like his dad.
7) Our trip out to SLC.
8) Going to Park City to ride the alpine slide and the zip line.
9) When we spent a night in vegas, how he somehow convinced me to go on ALL THREE of the crazy rides on top of the Stratasphere.
10) Watching the 2008 Superbowl together.
11) Christmas 2007. And how he insisted we have matching Boston Red Sox hats.
12) How excited he was to give me my ring and his surprise (the matching earrings).
13) Also the TONS of other little things he tried (unsucessfully) to stuff in my stocking :) There was just too much!
14) The fact that he was so excited to be able to buy gifts for everyone that year.
15) The wii. He wouldn't even wait for christmas for that gift!
16) How amazing he was at Tennis on the wii, and how he'd always kick my butt!
17) as well as in guitar hero.
18) How happy he was to be able to play his brother in guitar hero, the time difference was perfect because Gar was up so late anyways.
19) His love for Mountain Dew.
20) and CANDY! especially pixie sticks, orange sticks, and the willy wonka mix.
21) How happy he would be when I (or my mom) would make munester chicken.
22) Our walks at Harkness Park.
23) The camping trip we took to New Hampshire.
24) And...on that trip...when i thought we'd never have a fire on that COLD night because it began raining. But, he somehow managed to start one!
25) Our Troy's dates. He would always get the western burger with a side of onion rings and I would get a turkey sandwich with a side of fries.
26) The big, huge bags of bagels and bake goods he would bring to my house when he'd visit after working at Panera.
27) His excitement when he would find a great deal at Best Buy using his discount.
28) How beastly he was to wake up in the morning when he had to be at work at 5 or 6 am for the holiday season at Best Buy.
29) How cute he looked when he would wear a long sleeve shirt under his polos, he loved that.
30) The fact that he would rarely wear his winter coat, instead opting for the zip-up hoodie his Grandma Childs gave to him.
31) The night he took me to Olive Garden...and he left in the middle of dinner and came back to give me my ring with a rose. It was so meaningful.
32) Swimming in the pool at John's father's condo.
33) Our MANY good talks we had at the boardwalk.
34) When I had to save him at 2am because he had a flat and I had AAA. We sat in the New London Library and talked, and talked, and talked.
35) His dream of owning an Audi someday.
36) His dream of having 3 children. Because he loved having a brother and a sister.
37) The incredible amount of love he had for his nieces (and now nephew). He told me on our first date that he would do absolutely anything for his niece. That was something we surely had in common.
38) How happy he was to hang christmas lights in his bedroom.
39) His rubiks cube collection and how incredibly proud he was of it.
40) When he was so excited because we painted and hung all the shelves in his room for his collection.
41) When we painted his room. I ended up hating the color, so I grabbed a random color from our garage and started ragging it on. He said it would never compare to the amazing paint jobs his dad did in their house. And, it sure doesn't!
42) He could figure out any little game or gadget out there.
43) He loved sudko
44) mangos
45) video games
46) And a wide variety of music.
47) He introduced me to Ska music.
48) He was my rock when my dad was first diagnosed with cancer and spent alot of time in the hospital. I have no clue how I would have gotten through it without him.
49) Hiking at Zions.
50) He loved animals, especially cats. And they all loved him!
51) His strong faith, it was always there with him.
52) When we messed up the first 3 layers of the jello dessert for Christmas. And how upset it made him because it didn't look like it did back at home :)
53) How happy it made him to make the "out of this world biscuits" for Thanksgiving dinner, along with his dad's gravy. yum!
54) When we took Chloe to the aquarium. Also when we took her to the holiday lights festival in Mystic.
55) He wanted footsie pajama's SO badly.
56) His red hair. and his glow brows :)
57) And as much as i wasn't a fan of his tatoos, i still miss seeing them, especially his rubiks tattoo. They were definitelyn "Gar". :)
58) When we walked around the casino until 2 AM waiting for his friend Kenny to show up. haha!
59) He loved, loved, loved 24 and wimbledon tennis.
60) Above all I remember his warm heart and his kind soul. He will forever have a piece of my heart, and for that I am lucky.

There are so many, many, many more wonderful memories I have. I could probably fill up an entire book. But for now i'll just leave you with 60 of my most favorite. I'd love it if you would leave comments with your most favorite memories of Gar. I know he is still with us. I know he takes care of us all from above. But that doesn't take away the aching I feel when I think about him not being here to talk to. I definitely look forward to the day when I will meet up with him again.

Until then we have all of our memories...

i am thankful.

Friday, November 28, 2008
I know i'm a day late with this one. But this time of year always forces me to reflect on the many, many things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my loving family. They have supported me in everything I have done. I Love them all near and far and really do appreciate all the support especially during this past year.

I am thankful for my dad's health. This past year has been a roller coaster for my dad. He is so special to me and seeing what he has had to struggle with has been extremely difficult. A year ago this past wednesday marks the one year anniversary of his cancer diagnosis. He has come a long, long way since. He has had every test imaginable, had blood drawn thousands of times, had a few bone marrow biopsies, went on long term disability, spent a few weeks in the hospital, has had 2 surgeries, and TONS of doctors appointments. I am thankful he has shown me what true strength is. I am thankful he has never given up, despite what he has endured. I am SO thankful he is with us here today. and everyday.

I am thankful for my mom. Seriously, this past year has been the hardest on her. She has been so strong for my dad, my mimi and my entire family for that matter. She has truely carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She has makes me want to be a stronger person, she is truely a testiment of strength. I am so thankful that she is my mom and that I have had her by my side through everything.

I am thankful for my Mimi. I am so incredibly thankful for the time I was able to spend with her, especially in the end. She was an amazing woman and I am so thankful I am able to call her my Mimi. She taught me so much about life, living and always kept me laughing. I miss her so much, especially during this time of year. Luckily, I know she is with me always.

I am thankful for my wonderful friends. They have all supported me in their individual ways and each and every way has been appreciated greatly.

I am thankful for my health. Seeing other's struggles really makes me feel lucky for the life and health I have.

I am thankful for Gar. He taught me so much about life. He taught me what unconditional love is all about. He gave me experiences I would have never had. He gave so much of himself to others despite his extreme suffering. He really was such a strong person. I still miss him every single day, I'm sure I will forever. But, I am thankful he was in my life and so thankful for the time we were able to spend together.

I am thankful for my boyfriend. Sure it isn't easy living states apart but all things considered he has been a huge comfort especially with Mimi and Gar's passing as well as my dads illness.

I am thankful for my two little nieces. They sure bring so much joy into my life. Even though they are 1,000 miles away :)

I am thankful for my faith. enough said.

Now for some of the smaller, yet still important things...

I am thankful for...

my new car.
my ability to go to college.
the beach right down the road.
good habatchi restaurants. yum!
good music.
artists who write all their own lyrics.
my job.
hot and iced tea.
wednesday night dinners at poppy and grandmas.
my lab/disection partner amanda.
lindt white chocolate & coconut bars...thanks gar for introducing me to these :)
my digital camera.
my cell phone and texting.
people who make me smile.
my comfy bed :)
rascal flatts and taylor swift concerts.
modern medicine.
my hopes and dreams.
the holiday season.
good home-cooked meals.
my love for cooking.
my laptop.
iTunes and my iPod.
my ability to be somewhat creative.


I hope everyone had a very happy thanksgiving!

No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed!

Thursday, November 13, 2008
Oh man, this is from April. We were all standing at the door of my brothers room laughing our butts off! Maybe it was one of those "you had to be there" moments...

God is So Great


Chloe learned this song at preschool. I love it!

almost 30...






Today my sister turned 29!



Here are 29 of the tons of reasons why she is the best sister around!




29. She is an amazing mother.


28. She has given me two beautiful nieces.


27. She is a fantastic wife and a navy wife at that!


26. She makes fantastic nachos! :)


25. She has always been here for me.


24. She is kind, caring, and always willing to help.


23. She is a very strong woman.


22. Many times she has to be like a single mom when Andy is out to sea for months at a time.


21. She used to take me out to icecream when she first got her liscense.


20. We used to have date nights when Andy would go out to sea (before the
girls came along)


19. I was so excited when she surprised us one Christmas and told us she was
moving in!


18. She really is a good cook although she always says she isn't.


17. She is beautiful inside and out.


16. She always has supported me in everything I have done.


15. She would make a great manicurist--you should see her do her own
nails...man, I wish I was that good!
14. She makes me laugh-- our plans to open up a nail salon ;)

13. She is a fantastic organizer!
12. She always puts her family first.
11. She is very intelligent, even though she thought Alaska was an island ;)
10. She is a strong woman.
9. She always takes excellent care of my nieces.
8. She gives great advice that I value more than she knows.
7. She is one of the only people that I will trust with my future
children.
6. She has a beautiful smile.
5. She has been there for me at the most difficult times in my life.
4. She always made sure to have a close relationship with me and my brother
even when she lived with her real mom.
3. She always has defended me, no matter what.
2. She always tries her hardest at whatever she attempts and usually
succeeds!
1. She is amazing.

Cara,

Even though I am in CT and you are in GA please know I wish I could have been there to help you celebrate....And I'm there in spirit :) I know it is a hard birthday having your Hubby gone. But just remember to take a few extra minutes for YOURSELF today. I love you VERY much! I can't wait to see you at Christmas. Have a very happy birthday!

love always,
Your little sis :)

Surprise, Surprise!

My parents had tickets to fly down and spend a week at my sister's house in Georgia so that they could be there for Chloe's 4th birthday. I knew I couldn't miss out on all the fun so I booked my ticket for a Thursday to Monday. And I kept it a secret from my sister and Chloe! It was SOOO hard, so many times I almost slipped because I wanted to tell my sister how excited I was. So Thursday Oct. 23 I flew into Jacksonville Airport. My parents had arrived the day before and my mom and I had devised a plan. She told my sister they had to run back to the airport because the suitcase with all of Chloe's birthday presents from family back home never made the connection so they were sending it the next day (thursday). So I arrive call my mom we plan to meet in baggage claim. Mind you the night before this all I had talked to my sister and she was convinced I would be showing up with my parents on Wednesday and how upset she was when I wasn't there but that she understood that I had school and all. So I come around the corner and there is Chloe and my mom. I yell Chloe's name and she saw me and came running yelling "Auntie, Auntie, Auntie!!" It was precious and of course melted my sappy heart. Haha! Everyone was clapping and commenting how cute it was. Then I grab my bags and I head outside and my sister pulls up with my dad. Notices me and flies out of the car and gives me the biggest hug. It was perfect. I had TOTALLY surprised her and Chloe. And poor little Hannah didn't know the difference, she was asleep in the car ;) Anyways...I had a fantastic time. I spent alot of time with the girls of course. Poor Andy was working non-stop as they were trying to get their boat ready to go out to sea. But all around it was such a fun trip and I was so sad to go home monday. I miss them all!
Sorry for the massive amounts of pictures and the fact that they are completely out of order!
Chloe got a Barbie Jeep from her parents and .my parents. She LOVES it. We let her open it at about 7am. So that Andy could see her. We didn't know if he was going to make it to her party because work has been so crazy for him (luckily he did end up making it). So that is why we are all in our PJs. And that is Chloe's cousin Allison who came up from FL along with Cara's mom to celebrate Chloe's birthday
My Hannah!

Me and the girls.


I can't resist those chubby cheeks! She has grown so much!


Chloes other grandparents bought her a bouncehouse for her birthday party--this was her and I bouncing in it!




Blowing out the candles!





Opening presents :)






The Friday before her birthday she got to bring in cupcakes to her preschool. She loved the frosting, but wasn't a fan of the "cake" haha!







Chloe got the job of sprinkler..She helped me make the cupcakes for her preschool.














Dear Catlin,

**warning, the following post proves that I am a true sap :)**

The past three months have been pretty great due to the cutie pictured above ;)

I couldn't have asked for a more supportive boyfriend especially with everything that went on with my dad and brother. It truely means alot to me. We have made some awesome memories in these three short months. I am sure that there will be many, many more to come. You make me laugh when I couldn't even imagine smiling. You came into my life at a perfect time and I couldn't be happier. Thank you for all that you are!

Love,

A very happy girl :)