Swedish Apple Pie

One word for the above picture.

Delicious.

As may or may not know I worked for about 4 years at an after-school program at a local elementary school. Each year we would host a "Thanksgiving Feast." Year after year a sweet mother of one of our after-schoolers would bring in this AMAZING Swedish Apple Pie. After begging for the recipe she finally gave in and gave it to each and every staff member.

I won't lie, it makes me wish I was Swedish. The crust forms an almost sugar cookie topping that is to die for! And its SIMPLE! I'm talking, super simple! As with any apple pie, the hardest part is peeling and slicing the apples. But no worries, it won't disappoint.

And so that you can make all your family wish they were Swedish...

Swedish Apple Pie:

4 or 5 large apples (I used Cortlands); peeled, cored & sliced thin

3/4 cup of melted butter (1.5 sticks)

2 T water

1 C flour

1 C sugar

1/2 t salt

1/2 C walnuts (if desired)

1 T cinnamon

1 T sugar

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl mix together the 1 T sugar and the 1 T cinnamon with the sliced apples. Pour apples into a pie plate. In another bowl mix the remaining ingredients and spread over the apples. Bake for 45-60 minutes, until golden brown.

Enjoy!

Oh and...Happy Turkey Day All!

Give Thanks.

It is hard to pinpoint exactly what I am thankful for. I mean of course I am thankful for SO much. And that’s what makes nailing it down so, well, hard. I’m thankful I have a roof over my head and food in my belly. I am thankful that as the temperatures drop there is heat to keep me warm because sadly millions of people around the world don’t have those simple luxuries which makes me that much more thankful. But this year I’m talking about the more meaningful things. The things you really have to dig down deep for. You know those things that really hit home like…

God.

I am thankful to have God in my life. I am thankful for His mercy and His grace. It is because of those facts that I am saved. God has the power and He has, on multiple occasions, in this past year taught me many different facts of life. Through the death of my father He has taught me about life. And if it weren’t for Him I wouldn’t have life. He forgives me when I don’t feel like I can forgive myself. It never fails to amaze me. He gives me strength when I am down. It is because of him that I know someday I will see all of those I have lost in this life. For that I am thankful. I am thankful to know God and humbled to be touched by His overflowing grace and mercy.

Life.

I am thankful for life. I can’t imagine what some families are dealing with this holiday season. The utter loss that families are dealing with is incomprehensible for me… such as the families of the victims’ of the Fort Hood massacre, the family of the 16-year-old boy who collapsed and later died just a town away from ours and all the families of the servicemen who have given the ultimate sacrifice defending our freedom. I have suffered my own losses which has made me that much more thankful and considerate of life. I am, literally, thankful I am able to be thankful this holiday season.

Love.

Cheesy isn’t it? I am thankful for love. But no, seriously, it is so much more than that. The amount of love I have been shown throughout my life blows me away. It completely boggles my mind. Imagine a world without love…dark, dreary and ugly. And that is why I am thankful for love. Imagine those who can’t love or have never been shown love. I truly feel for those people, I wish I could show them love. Really, I do. It opens my eyes and makes me thankful for Gods love, my Mom’s love, my Dad’s love, the love my best friends show me and the countless other people who show or have shown me love. That is the love that has carried me through when the going gets tough. And to those who love me I am forever thankful for you.

So this season I challenge you to give thanks with a grateful heart. No matter what you are doing today, or any day for that matter, look around you, dig deep, and determine what you are truly thankful for. And if nothing more take one breath and be thankful for your life.

730.

It has been 730 days since my dad’s cancer diagnosis.

This time of the year brings with it a lot of emotions. I am utterly amazed how much my life has changed in the last 730 days. It doesn’t seem like much but my life has unfolded in a way that I so never-in-a-million years would have expected. Yet, I am thankful for these past 730 days. I have been down the darkest paths of my life, I have faced the deepest valleys. I have cried myself to sleep many of times. I have wanted to wake up and find that what I was living was all a dream. My dad really was sick, he really was fighting the battle of his life and he really lose his battle to that terrible “C” word. Unfortunately, life is not like that. You can’t run out when the going gets tough.

I have grown closer to my family, friends but more importantly God. I know God has carried me through the darkest moments such as when I was standing there holding my dads hand knowing that things couldn’t get much worse and that it would probably be the last time I would ever see my dad alive and breathing. I remember that instance as clear as day. It stings to even think about that day or those moments. There is so much more I would have loved to tell my dad. There was so much more of my life I wish I could have shared with my dad.

God had other plans. I must accept these plans and never forget but learn to move on. I credit my friends and my family for lifting my spirits when I have been down. They have been that shoulder to cry on. They have listened to me when, quite frankly, I wouldn’t have listened to myself. These 730 days have definitely shown me who cares about me. I am thankful for that and for all of them. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I could not have made it through this past two years without each and every one of them.

Many days I can only take a moment at a time. I have learned that is okay. Other days come and go with only a few (if any) deep, harsh memories of the past. Again, I have learned; that’s okay. Some days my mom and I hug and cry for no reason other than we both miss dad. Both of our lives are a little bit dimmer now that he isn’t around. And, that’s okay.

I have learned all that I am feeling in these past 730 days is okay. Life does go on. The sun does rise the next day no matter what happened the night before. It may be difficult but in the end everything is okay.

Proud.

A few weekends ago I made my Poppy proud and went to St. Patricks Cathedral for their annual Red, White and Blue mass. He was so excited for me to see him in his uniform. Truth be told I had NEVER (in my 20 years of being) seen him in it! It was SO worth the early wake-up call (after the extremely late night at work) and the 30 minute drive. He looked so incredibly handsome in his uniform.

Don't you agree?

The mass was extremely touching. There was a full gun salute and many, many future, present and retired servicemen from all branches of the military. Not to mention all their family and friends. The seats were reserved and assigned--at church?! crazy!

What else is there to say?!

My Poppy makes me very proud! Thank you for your service!

Missing him...

This crazy class and work schedule has me a day late with this one. But yesterday did not go without lots of memories, tears and thinking...

It seems quite unreal to me that an entire 365 days have passed since I got that call while going over the George Washington bridge in NYC heading down to Georgia. I will never forget the complete and total shock I was in. Flying out to Utah to be with Gar’s family was the most important choice I made. It allowed me to be close to Gar, it allowed me a feeling of peace and it allowed me to be close to his amazing family. For the first time I knew he was at peace. A lot has changed in my life since then. It has been a whirlwind of a year. I have so many great memories of Gar. I could write a novel. His mannerisms and little quirks made me love him that much more. He left a gaping hole in my heart that no one will able to be able to fill, nor do I want anyone to. Yesterday, more than most days, I thought a lot about those memories. Of course, I allowed myself time to grieve but I wanted to focus more on the positives rather than the negative feelings. We shared so much together and for that I am extremely lucky. Gar, as he did for many people, taught me a ton. He taught me to love unconditionally, he taught me to be strong, he taught me to be myself, he taught me the feeling of true love. Gar touched my life in a way I can’t quite explain. I know he is up there smiling down on all of us, I know he loves us all and I feel that love every single day. I am so thankful for the time I was able to spend with Gar, the memories we were able to make and the love we got to share. He truly changed my life and because of him I will never ever be the same. I love you Gar!

Dear Spring '09 Semester,

Well, you have proven to be the biggest challenge yet. With this week of finals fast approaching I can finally see the end in sight, and it's a wonderful thing. This semester has brought with it its fair share of struggles. Beginning with daily trips to Yale then about a month into it the loss of my dad. I can honestly say it has been far from easy. There were many of times I seriously thought of withdrawing and starting anew in the fall 09 semester. But a some special people in my life pushed me. Reminded me I could do it. And Gave me that extra bit of strength when I needed it most. Thank goodness for my great friends and family :)

The ending of this semester is also a little bittersweet. It is my last semester at Avery Point. It is where I began my college career. I will miss a lot about that wonderful place on the ocean. It brought to where I am today, most importantly it brought me closer to my goal of becoming a nurse. I have accomplished a lot. I have experienced a lot. I have stressed a lot. But, of course, and most important of all; I have learned a lot.

Well, thats it from me for now. I know. I know. I have been lame at posting on this blog. I promise I am trying to get better at it.

Dear TRCC Nursing Program,

Thank you so much for accepting me into your nursing program! I know it will be difficult and challenging but at the same time I know how rewarding it will be. I am so grateful for this opportunity and so excited to get started. I won't lie, I doubted my ability to get into the program. But thanks for seeing past that and accepting me :)

I'll be seeing you in the Spring 2010 (or maybe, if i'm lucky, Fall 2009!)

Thanks again!

one excited nursing student :)