Good Excuses.

I know this weekend recap is late.


but, I promise, I have a good excuse...


I took my final on Monday, in the most challenging class I have ever taken on, and I got an 86 and a 87 for my final grade! Whoo hoo!


I can officially say I am done with my first semester of nursing school...do you know how good that feels?!  1/4 of the way there to getting my RN!


Sorry, just had to gloat a bit :)


This weekend, surprisingly, I didn't study all that much. Saturday I worked, relaxed and hung out with M&J and R. We had a great time and watched the movie "Four Christmases"--such a good movie! Then Sunday, after church (in which there was a fantastic Homily I will post about soon. Promise!) I did devote the rest of my day to studying.  Then Sunday night instead of last minute cramming I watched Julie & Julia-- another awesome movie!


It all added up to a high final score and a B+ in the class!


I am both excited to be done but also slightly bored. What do I do with my life? Sure, we have 15+ chapters to (pre) read in our Maternity & Pediatric text and lots of pediatric and piggyback drug problems to practice for our med. math test but who wants to do those?!


I'm not going to worry about that stuff until I get back from GA (Jan 11th) that will give me 10 good days to prep for next semester. For now I am going to enjoy the holidays, spend time with my family and soak up the free time!


Oh ya...and probably blog a lot more! :)


Until then...enjoy your week!


xo J.

Bitter+Sweet

= Bittersweet.

Friday was my last day of clinical.

The sweet comes from the fact that I have grown so much from that very first day. I started as a petrified first semester nursing student and I have grown quite substantially since then into a more confident, competent nursing student. I was able to care for my first, second, third, etc patient. I learned all about how the hospital system works: paperwork, assessments, and treatments. I experienced some challenging patients that I really know (hated to admit at the time) I grew from. There were days I’d get into my car after taking the shuttle back to our student parking and cry. Not because I was necessarily sad but because I was stressed, overwhelmed, and had a difficult day.

Those were the days in which, I feel, I grew the most. I am a different person than I was when I first entered 4.2 on the very first day of clinical.

I could have never grown as much as I did, as a student nurse, without the help of so many people.

That is where the bitter part comes in...

This ending of the semester came with many goodbyes.

The people I learned from on 4.2 were, truly, wonderful people. They were so willing to share their knowledge with me and helped to increase my confidence. I am going to miss them. They all took time out of their (VERY!) busy and hectic days to slow down and show me how things are done. I will be forever grateful to the RN’s, PCA’s and LPN’s for their help, support and knowledge. They helped me more than they probably even know.

My clinical instructor was another person who helped me immensely. “Mama A” as we affectionately referred to her as, was amazing. She is so full of wisdom and knowledge, especially when it comes to nursing. She knows how things really work in the field and she always shares that with us.  I am so grateful to her for all she taught me, and most importantly her honesty, during my first clinical semester

My clinical group was one fine group of ladies. Although I will be seeing them all next semester, we most likely won't be in the same clinical group. I can honestly say we all grew so much this semester. We all had the “deer in the headlights” look as we entered on the first day. Throughout the entire semester we leaned on each other and learned from each other. We all had different strengths and weaknesses and we all helped each other bridge the gaps. I am thankful for each and every one of them, whether it be for “lifting help” or the much needed boost of self confidence before I gave my first intramuscular injection.  They were there when I needed them most and I am so thankful I shared this first semester clinical journey with them.

I am both happy and sad to have completed my first semester of clinical experience. On the one hand  I am one step closer to graduating yet on the other hand I’m leaving behind 4.2 and all the wonderful staff there, Mama M, and my clinical group. I know next semester will present me with its own unique set of challenges but because of this learning experience and the relationships I have established during my first clinical semester I know that I will make and meet any challenge presented to me next semester and beyond.

Perfect Timing.

I’ve always been one to be on time. I love being on time, actually. It makes me feel accomplished and peaceful. As I’m sure most know by now I love schedules and scheduling (Lord help my future children!). I have always loved to know what to expect as soon as the clock strikes noon, or two or five. I love timing! But I’m not talking about being on time today.

Today I’m talking about timing. Yep, there is a difference. And unfortunately, my timing really means NOTHING. Yup, you got it.

Absolutely nothing.

It’s God’s timing that matters. It is all in His timing.

That is where things start to get hairy for me…I really start to get into a time crunch. I wish my timing was superior. Really, I do! My dad would still be here because with my timing he would have lived until he was at least eighty—that way he could have met my future husband and kiddos (Oh, how I wish that was true!) On my timing I would have been a nurse in exactly TWO years after graduating. Not the oh-so-long four. Gar wouldn’t have been taken from this world so soon. Mimi would still be around making us laugh when all we want to do is cry. And on my timing many boyfriends’ past would have been “the one.” Obviously, God has other plans for me in this life. And to be quite frank,

my plans don't mean a single gosh-darned-thing.

A somewhat recent turn of events really got me thinking about this whole timing deal. When I sit and think about our relationship (Keith & I that is) I have a hard time with trying to figure “where it went wrong.” I have yet to still have that “Ah Hah” moment where it all goes from mud to crystal clear. I have, of course, been analyzing (and I’m certain, overanalyzing) everything that went on in those last few days. Where did I go wrong? What did we do wrong? Was there some huge, unfixable downfall? No.

Actually, really…No there wasn’t.

We got along great. We both shared in the same faith. We both had families that mean everything to us. We both love to save money. We both love to try new things and explore new places. We both love to travel. We both love to cuddle. We both love the ocean. We both are extremely close to our grandparents. We both have siblings who we’d do anything for. We complimented each other. A match made in heaven, you’re thinking? Right?

Nah. God had other timing in mind. Obviously he didn’t feel I was at the point in my life to engage in such a serious relationship. Maybe, I need to grieve more? Maybe, I need to finish getting my career in order? Maybe, I really don’t know! All I know is this latest relationship downfall was a huge, and I mean HUGE!, eye opener for me. I’ve realized that God knows everything that is going to happen in my life. Have I ever expressed to you all how that amazes me so?

No?

Well it does. It blows me away. I am so thankful he is in the drivers seat and not me. Because we all know I would have driven my car straight into the ground (so to speak…) years ago with all my nit-picky planning! I have come to realize one of my huge downfalls is my feeble attempt to plan 

absolutely. everything. in. my. life.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Some days I freely admit it and attempt to accept it. Other times it really irks me. Why do I think my timing overrides His? How could I be so naïve? So selfish? In reality if I just submitted myself to Him my path would be so much smoother. He knows all. He knows what is right for me...

Always. I am striving to learn to submit myself to Him and His timing. Because after all God’s timing is just that…

the perfect timing.

Weekend Recap.

Well this weekend feels like it was awfully uneventful.

except there were events.

making it ummm, well, eventful afterall.

Anyways. Thursday & Friday I spent my days on floor 4.2 (my clinical home, for all you all who didn't know that). I had a challenging patient. Ha, thats to say the least. I was challenged. I learned. I am thankful I made it out alive...

moving on... Friday night i was BEAT. I mean, BEAT! I wrote up my clinical reflection, watched a movie with some favorites and hit the sack.

Saturday, just a typical Saturday. Went to work (and got an uninterrupted workout in!) and it was SLOW. I'm talking boring, didn't know what I could possibly do, couldn't wait for the clock to strike 12 boring. Then I did a tad bit of Christmas shopping with mom. Went and grabbed lunch. It was at lunch I decided (believe me, I had been going back and forth in my mind all day wether or not to) to text Keith. Bad idea. Good day went somewhat downhill fast. That's another post for another day. Let's just say, somedays you have to remind yourself why the past is considered just that...

your past.


Moving on. I put that aside and had an awesome afternoon/night with my two best; J&M.

Sunday I slept in and (GASP--didn't go to church!) studied all. day. long. It killed me, but it was for the best. I need to ace tomorrow's test and after today's all-day study session that is looking more and more like a possibility.

The semester is coming to a close! Tomorrow is exam number 5 (Yes the last one of the semester!). Then we have a review session. Clinicals on Thursday and Friday. Then final on Monday and my first semester of nursing school will be just that...

behind me!


I can't tell you how that excites me so! Here's to a good last-week-of-the-semester. Happy Sunday night all...

Pieces.

Today I had yet another counseling session. This is nothing new, I’ve been seeing a grief counselor, I'll refer to her as Dr. N, for some time since my Father's passing. She's awesome. She has helped me through a very difficult time. She has aided me in bettering myself. We have talked about some deep stuff, really deep stuff. We have dug up lots of my past that I have now learned affects who I am and what I do to this day. Today, though, at counseling I had somewhat of an epiphany.

Let’s start with the beginning…the reason this was even talked about to begin with. Lately, with any break-up I have been involved in, whether it is my doing or his, it has literally crushed me. Now, sure, some of it has to do with the depths of grief I am still dealing with but this latest break-up with Keith has been especially difficult. I realized, with the help of Dr. N, that I hate goodbyes because of the sheer finality of the goodbyes I have been forced to say in the past 18 months. In my mind every goodbye is final. And I am learning that is okay. But what I am also learning is that these goodbyes aren’t as final as I may have once thought they were.

See, that is where the title of this post comes in...

Pieces.

I realized today, that I am able to carry pieces of every single person I have lost in my life. Not just pieces of my Dad, Mimi and Gar but of everyone that I have had to part ways with for one reason or another. These pieces are memories and thoughts that I have of these people. These pieces are also lessons learned and tidbits of wisdom I have taken from these people.

The greatest part of this new concept is that these pieces can never, ever, ever be taken away from me. That is something that I take comfort in. These pieces are what comfort me when I am sad, they bring me up when I am down and they keep the memory of whomever it may be alive in my mind. I am forever grateful for Dr. N because she opened my eyes and made me realize that although these people may not be tangible in my life they are all very much still here. It is inevitable that I will say many more goodbyes in my lifetime but from now on I know that I will forever be able to keep their pieces with me. And, that in itself, gives me great comfort.

For pieces of me are still with them and pieces of them will forever be a part of me.

Craft. Time.

I love homemade gifts. I have always loved receiving them. They are just so well...

...homemade! They're personal and meaningful. Which is why I love them so!

I (try!) to make something personal for various family members and friends each year. Christmas is always a good time to gift something that i've taken the time to make myself.

So in honor of my love of crafting here are the two gifts I have made for my favorite (and only!) nieces :)

First I took two unfinished, wooden frames (which I purchased at AcMoore, btw)

I painted them with acrylic paint

I then used matte modge podge to attach the corresponding scrapbook paper (which I had cut to size with an xacto knife)

Then is where the extra fun part comes in! I pulled out my new Cricut, well not really "pulled out" because it has already earned its own spot on my coveted craft table! anyways back on track...I typed and printed both of their names and random shapes that matched the scrapbook paper. I modge podged them in place.

Then I took some buttons and ribbon I had on hand and hot-glue-gunned them into place

--and Voila! They're finished and ready to be gifted!

A very personal and homemade Christmas gift for two of my favorite girls!

And incase you couldn't follow my step-by-step instructions whatsoever (because, you know me... I forgot to take step-by-step pictures) following are pictures of the finished (well almost finished--just need some pictures) gifts!

Happy Crafting!

Weekend Ramblings

Lets start at the very beginning. It’s a very good place to start.

Black Friday was a complete success! Mom and I nabbed some pretty good deals.

This little beauty above is just simply amazing. It was one of the many steals we grabbed. it's a Cricut Expressions (for all of you non-crafters out there!). Let's put it simply...I'm in love. It's so amazing. I just wish I had some more time to play with it.

Onto the other great deals. We bought my Poppy a 40” Sony Bravia from Walmart. He actually paid for it, we just grabbed it and carried it (IN THE POURING RAIN!) to the car. Needless to say he was thrilled! It’s always good to see a smile on his face :)

Also, we got lots of DVDs that were $2, $5, $6 and seasons of House and Weeds for $8. How can you beat those!? Nope, you cant!

We also got some other awesome deals that I can’t even think of. All in all it was a fantastic (EARLY!) morning of shopping.

And...below (just to document our accomplishment!) all of our loot!

Saturday involved lots of work and some errands as well as a great lunch out with my favorite CCSU student who just happened to be home for thanksgiving break. It was so nice to see her and spend some much needed quality catch-up time.

Sunday I was able to get so much accomplished. It felt so good. Church and choir practice started the day. Then mom and I started decorating the house for Christmas. I may be biased but our house looks so great decked out for the holidays. I just love it! Also throw in some errands, toe nail painting, cleaning, organizing, crafting and movie watching and it was all-in-all a fulfilling day!

I hope everyone had a successful Black Friday (If you were as crazy as I and woke at the crack of dawn to shop) and a fantastic weekend. Back to the grind tomorrow...