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Perfect Timing.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I’ve always been one to be on time. I love being on time, actually. It makes me feel accomplished and peaceful. As I’m sure most know by now I love schedules and scheduling (Lord help my future children!). I have always loved to know what to expect as soon as the clock strikes noon, or two or five. I love timing! But I’m not talking about being on time today.

Today I’m talking about timing. Yep, there is a difference. And unfortunately, my timing really means NOTHING. Yup, you got it.

Absolutely nothing.

It’s God’s timing that matters. It is all in His timing.

That is where things start to get hairy for me…I really start to get into a time crunch. I wish my timing was superior. Really, I do! My dad would still be here because with my timing he would have lived until he was at least eighty—that way he could have met my future husband and kiddos (Oh, how I wish that was true!) On my timing I would have been a nurse in exactly TWO years after graduating. Not the oh-so-long four. Gar wouldn’t have been taken from this world so soon. Mimi would still be around making us laugh when all we want to do is cry. And on my timing many boyfriends’ past would have been “the one.” Obviously, God has other plans for me in this life. And to be quite frank,

my plans don't mean a single gosh-darned-thing.

A somewhat recent turn of events really got me thinking about this whole timing deal. When I sit and think about our relationship (Keith & I that is) I have a hard time with trying to figure “where it went wrong.” I have yet to still have that “Ah Hah” moment where it all goes from mud to crystal clear. I have, of course, been analyzing (and I’m certain, overanalyzing) everything that went on in those last few days. Where did I go wrong? What did we do wrong? Was there some huge, unfixable downfall? No.

Actually, really…No there wasn’t.

We got along great. We both shared in the same faith. We both had families that mean everything to us. We both love to save money. We both love to try new things and explore new places. We both love to travel. We both love to cuddle. We both love the ocean. We both are extremely close to our grandparents. We both have siblings who we’d do anything for. We complimented each other. A match made in heaven, you’re thinking? Right?

Nah. God had other timing in mind. Obviously he didn’t feel I was at the point in my life to engage in such a serious relationship. Maybe, I need to grieve more? Maybe, I need to finish getting my career in order? Maybe, I really don’t know! All I know is this latest relationship downfall was a huge, and I mean HUGE!, eye opener for me. I’ve realized that God knows everything that is going to happen in my life. Have I ever expressed to you all how that amazes me so?


Well it does. It blows me away. I am so thankful he is in the drivers seat and not me. Because we all know I would have driven my car straight into the ground (so to speak…) years ago with all my nit-picky planning! I have come to realize one of my huge downfalls is my feeble attempt to plan 

absolutely. everything. in. my. life.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Some days I freely admit it and attempt to accept it. Other times it really irks me. Why do I think my timing overrides His? How could I be so naïve? So selfish? In reality if I just submitted myself to Him my path would be so much smoother. He knows all. He knows what is right for me...

Always. I am striving to learn to submit myself to Him and His timing. Because after all God’s timing is just that…

the perfect timing.

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