I'm Free.

Today I was feeling a little blue. Just, one of those missing-those-I’ve-lost-in-the-past-year days. I was blah. Some days I just wake up feeling that way. No rhyme, no reason.

Maybe it’s one of those “woke up on the wrong side of the bed” deals? I’m not too sure.

But I do now know what to do when I get into these funks. My counselor and I have discussed these type of days over and over. We’ve decided my best choice on these days is to let myself feel the feelings. Really set aside time to

Feel it.

And that’s just what I do. Its part of the way I am grieving.  Then, when I feel I’m done for the day, I package it up into a box, and put it away in my mind…and go about my day as normally as possible. (the whole box deal is another story, for another post)

Lets just say…it so works. It gives me time to grieve yet it doesn’t allow the grieving to consume my life. That’s the balance I have been trying to strike. It’s a day-to-day struggle but I’m working on it.

Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t go on every single day. But when it does this is how I have learned to deal with it and deal with it I have.

But today was a bit different. On this particular day I was in the shower going about my morning routine and all of a sudden mom bursted into the bathroom and said “Mimi wanted me to find this, I needed to read this!” she proceeded to read:

I’m Free

Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free,

I’m following the path God laid for me.
I  took God’s hand when I heard the call;

I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day

To laugh, to love, to work or play.

Tasks left undone must stay that way,

I found that place at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void,

Then fill it with remembered joy.

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss.

Ah yes, these things, I too, will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow,

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life’s been full, I’ve savored much,

Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief;

Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.

Life up your heart and share with me-

God wanted me now, God set me free.  ((by: Shannon Lee Mosele))

I think the being was a bit higher than Mimi (no offense or anything). I believe God set that poem in her path so that she could then set it in my path because it just so happened to be exactly what I needed…

to be set free.